Neurospicy Travel: Don’t wing it!

Right so, let’s not be under any illusion here. Travelling as a Neurodivergent family presents a whole host of its own issues. However, that doesn’t mean to say it can’t be enjoyable. The biggest tip I can give Is make sure you don’t wing it. This may work for some but if you have a little Neurospicy person as part of your tribe I can assure you, it won’t. Make sure wherever you are travelling has some space for your child to burn off some steam safely, wether that be a zoo, a park, an indoor space, an immersive experience. We generally try and balance activities and sights we would like to do, with a good amount of bits for the kids too. This minimises the 3 M’s. Moaning, meltdowns and misery. Play to your childs strengths. For example, if your child hates busy places and you want to visit a particular city that you know is going to be busy, visit at an off peak time or weekday. This doesn’t always have to be during term time. We visited Lake Como during the Easter Holidays, it was enjoyable because it wasn’t packed, everyone was happy and we were even lucky with the weather. This will likely work for you as long as you are willing to accept that there may be some variation with the weather! As a taxi driver told us in Norway they say “there’s no such thing as bad weather - just bad clothes!”

Secondly, another massive hurdle for lots of us is eating. Will there be safe foods whilst I'm away? I will likely do another post on this. Research restaurants before you go if you're worried your child won't try the local food. Or, pack some snacks in your suitcase and find the nearest supermarket. We often stay in Air Bnbs so we also have the option of cooking. It just eradicates the need to worry and makes everything way less stressful! Eating street food at markets is also a good option, as everyone can pick what they like from different stalls. There is no shame in needing to go for these options if it helps you as a family. 

I know the idea of travelling with your children can be daunting. What mood will they be in? Will you have someone nice or horrid sat in front of you on the plane? I know I breathe a  sharp sigh of relief when another family with young children sits in front of us! On our first flight of the year last year, I was unfortunate enough for my son to be sat behind what can only be described as a very un understanding woman on a flight to Munich. Now don’t get me wrong, autistic or not autistic he was being annoying. Sometimes it happens, it’s just one of those things. He was kicking her seat, we removed his shoes and told him to calm down. But as we all know, sometimes there’s just no reasoning with these little people and disciplining a child on a plane isn’t exactly easy! I was on the brink of tapping her shoulder and apologising until I saw her keep turning around and huffing and puffing at him. To be honest I should have been calm like my husband but huffing at a six year old? Really? I apologised but to be honest the intrusive thoughts took over and I did ask her what she thought the huffing would achieve? At this point I still hadn’t mentioned the 'A' word as I don’t like to constantly bring it up but, as she then proceeded to be confrontational I did, more as an effort to explain his lack of understanding of boundaries. I have to say usually he is fine on a flight - but like I say sometimes these things happen! Anyway, she told me that wasn’t her problem and went and got the air hostess. All the air hostess did was come over to me and ask if we were okay and told me to ignore her. The point of this story is, sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do except just apologise and ride it out. Yes, obviously try your best to considerate, but sometimes it’s unavoidable and you end up sat behind an arsehole. Don’t let it put you off, you’re doing your best and children are children! We’ve slowly built up the length of time the kids are sat on the plane for, its taken a while but I’d say they can now manage around six hours. Next year we may attempt longer, but it’s totally okay to go at your own pace with this! You could even consider multi trips to break up the distance. 

I feel us mums of children with additional needs do develop a seriously thick skin! Sometimes however, it’s easy to avoid a situation again because of a negative experience we’ve had. Not wanting the stares and the comments and that awful anxious feeling. With time this does get easier, especially when you know you’re giving your kids the best memories, opportunities to immerse themselves in new things and, the chance to learn how regulate in new environments. There are so many amazing benefits to travelling with a neurodivergent child that massively outweigh all of the other crap! Imagine parenting your child in a nice place, no washing to do, minimal cooking, spirits are high. Sounds easier already right?